I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
