I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
