my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
