Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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