he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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