with your own penis?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
