Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
handjob tips. give me some.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
