Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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