The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize