$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
