I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
