The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
is that a dick in a sweater?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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