the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
