i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
