i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize