billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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