I don't think brook has ever known best
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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