He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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