my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
