I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The beer is more important than you right now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize