I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
God, I missed his penis.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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