he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
