Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
