butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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