He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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