I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize