I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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