True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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