doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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