He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
