You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
