its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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