Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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