so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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