Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
