so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the liver wants what the liver wants
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
