god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
