Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
