turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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