I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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