The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
