it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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