i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he puts the penis in happiness.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
