never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
