So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
