Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
