What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
