is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My ass is underappreciated
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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