You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
