He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
