Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
