Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize