party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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