the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
