It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
