i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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