Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
