Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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