Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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