i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
